There is a God and it isn’t me

I can do this by myself

I have always considered myself a strong woman. I have always been headstrong, (my husband calls me lovingly “high maintenance”). Due to my dysfunctional upbringing, I learned very quickly I could depend on nobody in my life, I learned to look after myself, especially emotionally.

I know that there are quite a few of you who can relate to this. We tend to be the Type A personality, the *go-to* person to get stuff done. And there is only one way to do things, and that would be OUR way.

This is how I have operated for the most part of my adult life. It makes me sound mean and controlling, but I don’t think that most people saw me as that. I believe I came across as confident and sure of myself. So when I began to feel the pressure of my life starting to grow over a year ago, I didn’t tell anyone. I was strong. I can do it. Eventually I confided in my doctor, but mainly so I could get medicated to keep up the pace I was living.

I had deluded myself into thinking that I was indestructible. I have on ongoing *joke* with my Christian psychologist that I knew there was a god. I had believed in Him all my life. But I was living as if I *was* God. I thought I could do all things, I could handle any situation I came up against. I didn’t want to ask for help because I didn’t want to admit I needed it. It was an issue of pride, and not the good kind. It was maybe even arrogance.

When I came to the end of myself, I had to admit I could NOT do it all by myself. I had to have help. I had to depend on others, and more importantly, I had to depend on God. HE is the one who can give me the strength to do the things I need to do, and He is the one who can provide rest when I need rest. This whole period of recovery has been, in a big way, about me learning to depend on Him.

I wouldn’t want to bother anybody…

Now, there is another group of people out there, those who are maybe the opposite of the above. You need help, but you feel you are not worthy of getting help. Or maybe you don’t like to bother people, you don’t want to impose on them, so you just keep trudging along, barely keeping your head above water. And you sure don’t want to bother *God* with your problems!

These are obviously not the only 2 categories of people there are. There are many ways of skewed thinking that keep us from asking for or admitting that we need help.

We CAN’T do it on our own

Whatever way you think of yourself, you have to accept the fact that at some point in your life, you will need help. You will need to ask for help. There are those in your life who will help you, and if the situation is great enough, you may need to reach out to professionals for help. But you also need to reach out to God, however that looks to you. He is waiting there, with His hand outstretched.

Think of it like this. There is a parent looking over a 3 year old child trying to dress himself. He is struggling and getting frustrated, but when the parent tries to help, the child says, “I can do it by myself!” So, the parent just steps back and waits. Eventually, the child plops down on the floor, exhausted and gives up. He looks up and says “I can’t do it. I need help. Will you help me?” The parent was there the whole time, just waiting for the child to admit his need for help.

So, do you feel like you can do everything? Without any help? Or, are you looking to God (however that looks to you) for help and strength to make it through?

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24 comments to There is a God and it isn’t me

  • Wow! what a great post! this has been a season of learning complete dependence on God in my life! I take each day at a time and trust that HE is going to walk with me and strengthen me. Something we all are learning. Visiting from ifellowship!
    Jenilee recently posted..Wednesdays Walk – A Pregnancy StoryMy Profile

    bernicewood Reply:

    I think it is something that some of us are so stubborn we have to be reminded of over and over again!
    Thanks for visiting!

  • Well-said. I’ve been in both of these places, at different times. I like the parallel you drew, with the child trying to get dressed.
    Melissa recently posted..Word-Filled Wednesday – January 12My Profile

    bernicewood Reply:

    Can’t you just picture God standing by, waiting for us to throw our hands in the air?
    Thanks for coming by!

  • Wonderful post and a great reminder for me to stay close to Spirit and trust he/she will guide me each moment of the day and sends ‘angels’ into my life to remind I do not journey ‘alone’ through life ~ Yes, I am strong but not stupid and so I ask for guidance when I go sleep and when I begin the day ~ the Spirit will lead me if I pay attention ~ I am here Spirit. Spirit You are here. Thanks for sharing this wonderful course ~ hugs and namaste, cz:)
    Carol recently posted..EXPECT LOVEMy Profile

    bernicewood Reply:

    You make an important point I am going to talk about on Friday! Seeking help on a regular basis!

  • What a great post! By nature, I guess I fall in the second category: those that don’t think much of themselves and don’t want to ‘bother’ God with their problems.

    You know what it is… everytime I have a problem, I think about people dying from hunger, being sweeped away by a tsunami or getting killed because of their faith. And then I say to myself: “You know, that little problem of yours isn’t all that bad”.

    I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not ‘though.. *lol*

    Greetings from the Netherlands!
    Jurino recently posted..The free spiritMy Profile

    bernicewood Reply:

    You know, there are times for sure that when I see other’s problems, I think, I really don’t have it that bad!
    Have a great weekend Jurino!

  • I definitely fall into the first category…right down to the dysfunctional family. But I’m thankful God never gives up on me. He knows how much I need Him even when I don’t. Thanks for such a great post!

    Blessings to you my new friend! Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I can’t wait to meet at Blissdom!

    bernicewood Reply:

    Oh, yeah, it is awesome that He doesn’t give up on us, even when we have given up on ourselves. So great to get to know you and can’t wait to meet you at Blissdom!

  • Thanks for this post – this certainly is one of my lifelong struggles. So glad I found you on SITS!
    Lila recently posted..Grateful PerspectiveMy Profile

    bernicewood Reply:

    Glad you found me too! I think we all have these struggles!

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  • Same background in that I found out early that there was no one to rely on. When I was younger, I actually thought I COULD do everything. Now after many years, I am certain that what I “accomplish” is pretty inconsequential. The most important thing is do I know Him. Have I learned something about Him. It’s not about me at all. Good post.

  • What an excellent post. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Perfect post to start my Sunday with, to remind me of what and WHOM I need to be thankful for and express my gratitude to. It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we remember this most basic of principles–and how little we really accomplish without Him.
    Marie recently posted..The Waiting PlaceMy Profile

  • A must-read: RT @womanonajourney: There is a God and it isn’t me ~

  • Hi Bernice, great post! I wrote a post today on this exact topic. As a business woman it is so tempting to just try to do our best taking on more and more projects. This plan however (without God’s wisdom and guidance) will lead only to burnout. Thank you for writing on such an empowering topic!

  • Ren

    I’ve always seen myself as a weakling, so I am all the time calling on God to help me through something. With that being said, I sometimes have a tendency to not bring Him into a problem I’m having, because I think I can do it myself, and it never occurs to me until later that I need to go to God. So, I guess I can be both ways. It depends on the problem I’m having. I always go to God with big problems that are over my head, but fail to go to Him when my problems are small, yet significant.

    bernicewood Reply:

    Yes, I am much the same way. In my day-to-day life I feel like I’ve got it, I can handle it, but then when it all falls apart around me, I look to Him for help. It would probably go a little easier if I held His hand each and every day!

  • Thank you so much for this wonderful post! I read a lot and this is one of the best reads I have read in a long time! Wishing you many blessings! ~Michelle Colon-Johnson

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