Life, one step at a time…

Here is another post from last year when I was in the beginning stages of recovering from my meltdown…

What are you saying to yourself?

baby steps

As I begin to work through renewing my mind and body and praying for healing, I am having to learn to rewrite some of the things I tell myself in my head. Self-talk can be extremely helpful or very detrimental to relieving stress and achieving some emotional balance.

One thing I am trying to get ingrained is ‘Progress not Perfection’. No one person is ever a finished product. Seeking perfection in yourself or others is a exercise in futility. By trying to hold ourselves, or those around us, to a standard of perfection, can quickly lead to a downward spiral in depression. We have to realize that life is about each step that we take, even if they are baby steps.

Shouldn’t I strive to be the best person I can be?

Absolutely. And the key parts of that phrase are ‘strive’ and ‘best I can be’. It is a constant process. We will never completely attain it in this life, as we are all human. And as humans, we are all different. We have different strengths and abilities, and our own life experiences will vary the rate at which we each progress.

We must allow ourselves to compete on our own level playing field. I cannot compare myself to you, or to my neighbor or co-worker. As much as possible to reduce stress and live in health and peace, we must concentrate on our personal best, regardless of what others would, should or could do.

My personal best

And even our ‘personal best’ changes from day to day. As for myself, these days, sometimes it’s a chore just to just get out of the bed. Renewal indicates a ongoing, one day at a time process.

So I seek to, each day, do what my personal best is for that day. Whether it is taking a walk around the block with my dog, doing 30 minutes of yoga, or just getting out of the bed and into the tub, I have to accept that at this point in my life, I cannot compare what I can do to others, only to myself. And hope and pray that each day is a little better than the day before.

Life is a journey, not a destination. And the path will still be there waiting. Life has no deadline, no finish line, no time table. This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t set personal goals. But if the goal is unrealistic, or for whatever reason, I can’t or don’t complete the goal, there is absolutely no reason to despair.

Personal goals

I used to have much bigger goals, but I have to be realistic at this point. Right now my goals are small, things such as:

  • getting a full night’s sleep
  • taking at least a short walk daily
  • eating 3 meals a day, and really enjoying the food
  • prayer and meditation, to learn to listen to God and quiet my mind
  • being able to go to the grocery store alone with having a panic attack

Venturing out of the box

As I am on a personal retreat in Savannah, I am working to go out each day and do something that is a little outside my comfort zone. Last night, that was going to dinner on my own. Today, part of me wants to stay holed up in my cute little place here, however, I know that going out to the beach and sitting or walking would be good for me, but I have to push myself to go. Sounds crazy, having to MAKE myself go to the beach. But that is what depression and anxiety will do to you. Put you in a box and make it scary to leave. I AM going, as soon as I publish this post!

As women, if we had a close friend was suffering, you’d be there for her. We have to learn to be there for ourselves, to care of ourselves. And that is what I am learning to do, one day at a time.

What can you do today, to take care of YOU?

My goal is to help as many women as possible with these issues we all deal with! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any posts! If you know of someone who would benefit from the info in this post and in my blog, please share by clicking below!

This post is linked up with a great link up called Pour Your Heart Out  over at Things I Can’t Say by my friend Shell! Go visit for a great collection of heart-stirring posts!

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9 comments to Life, one step at a time…

  • Best I can be doesn’t mean perfect. Letting that go helps.

    If this is your Pour Your Heart Out post, please add the button or a text link back, please.

    [Reply]

  • lainey

    Baby steps. When I use those words people look at me funny. Its nice to know that I am not the only one. Each day getting up is a battle. I am starting to be able to leave the house for non-nessities. I deal with panic and anxiety and depression. I have so many triggers that I dont put myself in new positions often. And new triggers crop up a lot eg. went to a movie and had to drive home in the dark on a saturday night. I almost pulled over and called a cab. Panic anxiety and depression are real problems. Most people don’t understand that and tell you to get over it. “its all in your head” I am into my second year of treatment and recovery seems to be a far way off. Some days I am no better off than when I started. It is very discourageing. Especially when I still feel the person I used to be deep inside me hiding, and I long for her to come back. There are no easy answers and baby steps are all I can take. Seems when I dive into something head first these days I end up crashing again. I will get better. But in my own time.

    [Reply]

  • Hey Bernice – I saw your comment over on Shaun Groves’ blog today. I love it when my “worlds” converge. I posted about the trip today – don’t know if anyone read any of the links I featured, but I thought I would give it a try.

    Do you sponsor a Compassion child?

    [Reply]

  • Hi – Visiting from Thought Provoking Thursday, and you have succeeded! My thoughts are provoked :) I really appreciate the idea that “perfect” is not the goal; just progress. And your modest personal goals for that time in your life are appropriate for all of us. How often do we fail to take care of ourselves? Thanks for this post.

    [Reply]

  • Having experienced depression I can completely relate to the crushing weight of perfectionism in a circumstance that prevents any kind of realistic perspective. Just wading out of the despair, step by tiny step, is the only important goal. I love how you laid out simply what is needed to get out of the box and back to a life of joy.
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