If you're new here, be sure to subscribe so you receive notification of new posts! (form to the right --->) Thanks for visiting!
Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.
~ Jim Rohn
Many of you get up every day and go through the motions. You get up and take a shower, and hop in the car. Or maybe you take a train. You go to a job that is just *there*. You do your work, and go home. Maybe you pick up kids from daycare. Or go by the grocery store. There are sports practices to go to, meetings to attend.
Maybe you are a stay-at-home parent. You are lucky if you get a shower in the morning. You spend your day changing diapers, feeding children and cleaning messes. You may go to the park, the library, the grocery store. You spend the afternoons supervising homework, and evenings at practices.
In the back of your mind, you are sure there is something more to life. When you were in college and dreamed of your future, this wasn’t quite what you had in mind. On your wedding day, you dreamed of your future together. And this wasn’t quite it.
Living in default mode
When you install computer software, it comes with standard defaults, but you can make changes. You can add your preferences, your settings. If you leave things on default, the program will work as it was supposed to. It will get the job done. If, however, you choose the preferences, the software does things just how you want them to. It works more efficiently and effectively, based upon choices that you made. And it helps you do what you want to do better.
Maybe you have been living life on autopilot. You are doing things because that is what you are supposed to be doing. You let society and our culture dictate your life. You have chosen to live life by not choosing. You are living by default. By choosing not to choose, you are choosing to leave your future in the hands of chance.
Choosing to live
If you are tired of being on autopilot, it is time to stop living on default. It is time to make some choices for your life. It is time to decide to do something different.
- The first step is to decide what is important to you in your life. Is it your children, your health, your community, the environment?
- Start taking steps in your life to set your preferences
- Enlist the support of those closest to you
- Make deliberate choices about your day
How could this look in your life?
You decide that you are tired of being overweight, stiff and sluggish.
- Instead of eating processed foods, buy and eat more fresh vegetables
- Instead of drinking soda, even diet soda, you substitute water.
- Instead of sleeping another 30 minutes in the morning, you get up early and take a walk around the block.
- Instead of watching that last TV show in the evening, you do a yoga routine you downloaded from online.
- Instead of going to a movie, you choose to go on a hike in a park.
By making choices such as these, you are setting your preferences instead of living by default. You introduce new settings into your life, a new normal. These choices can bring about the changes that you want to see on your life.
What are some preferences in your life that you would like to change?












Hi Bernice, clever article, comparing the way we often lead our lives being somewhat like installing a computer program with the standard default settings.

Problem is that the program isn’t being used to its full potential and neither are we if we just go about mindlessly living our lives.
Thanks for sharing. I choose to live
David | Listen Feel Breathe recently posted..Are you satisfied with good enough
[Reply]
great parallels! I love that you compared it to default settings on a computer.
And you are so right – we can make conscious decisions to not live on autopilot.
liz recently posted..A Scene from Saturday Morning
[Reply]
I have experienced auto pilot in my life and I really don’t like it. As a result, I have been making more conscious choices, if I don’t make them someone else or the “tyranny of the urgent will”! I practice a regular yoga class but have recently added swimming which I used to love. I feel more energetic and alive as a result! A couple of years ago I changed churches though my family still goes to the same as before. This was a big decision as I have always attend church with my family and my folks prior to that. For my own well being and growth I needed a transplanting! I am grateful I stepped out on faith and dealt with the uncomfortable feelings coming from within and without. These are just a few and perhaps some of the most important choices I have made. I believe I am more at peace and present in my world as a result.
[Reply]
I often feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day, going through the same motions day after day. Another excellent post.
jeri recently posted..What if it was God…
[Reply]
Very good points. I do totally live in default. Little changes are so simple to make and yet, we don’t do them. Thanks for the reminder. I’ll start tomorrow
JK
Blessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
Mel @ Trailing AFter God recently posted..You Are Not Alone
[Reply]
What a fantastic post. I often thinks its sad that shopping has become such a national past time. Seems to me like there are so many more enriching ways to spend our days.
Found you today on SITS.
(Florida) Girl with a New Life recently posted..Your Advice- The Sum of Your Experience
[Reply]
Found you via SITS, thanks for such a relevant post in my life right now. I choose to live and will draw up a strategy to making the chances I need in my life.
EncoreBride recently posted..The Honeymoon is over!
[Reply]
Have you ever clicked on a random link and found yourself on a website that has answers to questions you didn’t even know you were asking? LOL, that’s what I did this morning. I found you via a comment left in SITS and just read this article that is very relevant to my life and thoughts right now. It was a crazy sign. I’ll definitely be back!
[Reply]
Great article! I really like your examples of setting our preferences, one simple change that we WANT to make can move us out of the default category
[Reply]
This is very true.
I have been living on autopilot, but I find myself getting too frustrated when I try to make too many changes at once.
[Reply]
What a clever way to look at life. Great metaphor. I’ll be following

Kimberly recently posted..Parenting Sucks
[Reply]
I think i live in default mode WAY to much. visiting from Comment Hour.
Camilla recently posted..St Pattys Day Shirt & Hair Bobs
[Reply]
Such great tips!! I’m definitely going to need to come back and read more of these.
Mama Kat recently posted..Later
[Reply]
Great Post! I really feel like I am doing what I need to be doing. As my children get older I feel like I am able to take more control of my life! This is a great reminder.
[Reply]
I can totally relate to this. Great post! Stopping by from the @SITS #CommentHour!
Heather @ Life as we know it… recently posted..What I Wore Wednesday 12
[Reply]
Wow, great article. I find myself living in “default mode” a lot. I’ve just started trying to live in the NOW!
[Reply]
What a great post title! I will definitely be back to read more!
Heather recently posted..Inspired By You Wednesday
[Reply]
Great article!! Stopped by for comment hour.
Mrs. R recently posted..Wordless Wednesday
[Reply]
What a great post. thank you for making me think about things I can do to not be living in default mode, to be more intentional. its time for me to make a list like this, with the big changes coming at me. Good time for new habits. here from commenthour!
[Reply]
Yes, I think there are times in my life where I have been stalled because I haven’t put out the effort to move on. Great suggestions! cocktail hour
Caren with a “C” recently posted..Cloud 9 Ranch
[Reply]
Realizing I was going through the motions is what got me to wake up change how i eat, quit my addiction to food and lose 50 pounds. Love the positive message in this post. #CommentHour
ManWIfeDog recently posted..A Special Hello To My SITS Girls Comment Cocktail Hour Visitors
[Reply]
I definitely needed this advice. Thanks for sharing!
Karen T recently posted..Etsy Wednesday – Promote Your Shop Linky Party
[Reply]
stopping by from comment cocktail hour
congrats!!
Savannah Hawkins recently posted..My Thankful Wednesday
[Reply]
Guilty of living in default mode! I know that’s not good, and will try to work on it. Here from the Comment Hour!
The Reason You Come recently posted..Define Offensive
[Reply]
These are some great questions and helpful tips. I’ll be sure to come back and jot them down for my personal journey.
[Reply]
Life is better when you customize!
[Reply]
stopping in from comment hour on SITS! Congrats!
Savannah Hawkins recently posted..My Thankful Wednesday
[Reply]
Sending you hellos from the SITS Twitter party!
Blessings,
Toqua
http://ToquasCrafts.blogspot.com
Toqua’s Crafts recently posted..Ive turned into a gobber!
[Reply]
Here from comment hour. I totally printing this one out!
Bethany recently posted..My Momma & Her Dog
[Reply]
I really like this post, because I’m going through a time where I really want to make changes in my life, but am finding it difficult to do so. I always say, well maybe this time next year, or maybe in a few months, or when I finally get my own place, etc., excuses. I think the biggest problem with people is that they let their excuses get in the way. I know this might be hard, because everyone is different, but maybe you should try writing a post about how to get motivated to actually make a change in our lives, because I see that as the most difficult decision to make in a lot of people I know.
Lauren recently posted..10 Secret Things
[Reply]
This is great information & totally makes u think!! What r my non-default preferences….to go farther than I think I can!
[Reply]
it’s a conscious choice… one that’s hard to overcome b/c we are so used to living in default mode. we’re afraid to change our settings… afraid of success, afraid of failure.
stopping by from comment hour.
julia recently posted..repurposing old things
[Reply]
This is a great post! Definitely bookmarking it for later! Visiting from SITS comment hour!
jamee recently posted..Spring Into 2 Action Check-in 1
[Reply]
Great points, thanks for the inspiration!
[Reply]
Great article and a reminder that we all can be more conscious and alive even if we have been at a stop light we can go when green if we take the time to check out our real desires and priorities.
Thanks again.
Love and Hugs,
Jen
[Reply]
Wonderful post!
My mother used to tell me, and I therefore told my kids, life is all about choices. Think about your options and try to make the best choice for your life.
Visiting from the SITS Tweet Party #CommentHour!
Blessings,
Toqua
http://ToquasCrafts.blogspot.com
Toqua’s Crafts recently posted..Ive turned into a gobber!
[Reply]
Great article! I especially love the Jim Rohn quote. He was one of the best. Even though he’s gone, his words will last forever! Great site!
[Reply]
That’s good stuff! I am the SAHM (working PT from home as well) who can relate to never geting a shower in the morning (but at night) unless it’s the weekend. But… that’s okay. I know it is only for a season and this is EXACTLY where I wanted to be.
I think most people have probably lived like this at some time or other in their lives, maybe some days more than others. Isn’t it funny how this “common sense” kind of stuff we need to be reminded of every now and then. Great post.
Visiting you from the SITS hour!
[Reply]
I’m really bad for getting into a rut. The last time I realized I was living on autopilot I moved half way across the country. Now that I live on the coast there’s nowhere left to go.

Madison recently posted..There is a word I could do without
[Reply]
love love love the quote in the beginning of your post! loved the compassion to the computer default…
shelley
shelley recently posted..Can I get you a Mimosa
[Reply]
shelley Reply:
March 10th, 2011 at 12:39 pm
um that would be “comparison” not compassion… uhhh my eyes are getting buggy
shelley recently posted..Can I get you a Mimosa
[Reply]
I wish I could have a default day – or moment. 5 sons doesn’t really allow that. I am constantly having to readjust, move, grow to handle the ever-chaning dynamics. I guess the only thing I wish would change would be how I feel when one of them says “No – I don’t want to do that” – like it’s an option.
bluecottonmemory recently posted..Socks for 5 Prayer for 9
[Reply]
Great post! Yes, we all make choices. Whether they are conscious or not. TODAY, choose what is good for you… choose to empower yourself. Clearly define what that looks like and then go for it!
-S
Susan Liddy recently posted..From the Boardroom to the Baby’s Room- How to Ease the Transition
[Reply]
bernicewood Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Thank you so much Susan! So many of us give up our right to choose how we want our life!
Bernice
[Reply]
Boy, this article nailed it! I went to a work training tonight and it involved a similar concept. I left absolutely convicted that I have been floating through my life and then wondering why my needs and goals weren’t being met.
Hmmm. Twice in one day. Sounds like God is trying to tell me something! LOL!
Thanks for sharing this!
Jan recently posted..Pediatric Neurologist
[Reply]
bernicewood Reply:
April 12th, 2011 at 4:21 pm
I think as women, we feel it necessary to take care of everyone else and that to stand up for ourselves and what would work better for us is seen as selfish. We *need* to be selfish to a degree. Burnout will be around the corner if you are not! Start thinking about some things you need to change in your life that can make a difference this week!
Thanks for reading Jan!
Bernice
[Reply]
Wonderful article! I recently heard a speaker at MOPS say, “Avoid autopilot living” … that phrase has stuck with me and then I saw your post. Loved it, thanks for sharing.
[Reply]
Love this!! RT @womanonajourney Don’t let life just happen, get out of default mode~ http://ow.ly/5ZZEn
[Reply]
[...] Bernice, from Living the Balanced Life, writes passionately about choosing to life fully in “Don’t Live in Default Mode.” [...]
[...] member. There are still responsibilities that have to be taken care of. However, many of us are living life in default mode and could probably make some major choices today, this week, that could make a difference in your [...]
[...] “Don’t Live in Default Mode”–At Living the Balanced Life, Bernice Wood invites us to assess whether we’re stuck in unproductive patterns. [...]
[...] life just happen to us. We aren’t making decisions upfront as to how we want to live our life. Don’t live your life in default mode. Make decisions and guidelines ahead of time so that there is no question when you are presented [...]
[...] approaching my mid-20’s and I’m constantly being cautioned against living by default; leading a life I think will be successful and fulfilling, but, in the end, will leave me bored and [...]
[...] approaching my mid-20’s and I’m constantly being cautioned against living by default; leading a life I think will be successful and fulfilling, but, in the end, will leave me bored and [...]